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Daily Happiness Journal #65June 24th 2020dignity / violets and daisies
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thought for the day
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This quote is for Robert who sent me an email. A story of a dysfunctional family whose members considered it their right to use another's wealth, lie about them and destroy their dignity the best (or rather: the worst) they could.
Unfortunately stories like this are all too common.
It is difficult, if you have been raised to believe that others know better than you who you are, how you should behave, and how your dignity is of no worth, even to the extent of telling you to go ahead and kill yourself. You are taught to sacrifice everything you have achieved to save someone else they like better. Mental abuse to the extreme.
If this is your upbringing, you have been brainwashed since childhood to believe you are not worthy. This kind of behaviour serves those who would take advantage of you for their own benefit. There have always been people like that and they will keep on using you as long as you let them. Of course: you submitting to their will makes their lives easier. A servant to do their bidding. And usually these "servants" are kind, emphatic people who easily believe that whatever is wrong in their life is their own doing.
It will be painful to turn your back and leave people like that to their own devices. But if you don't, you are ruining your own life. No one has the right to destroy another person's self respect.
Isn't there a certain lack of logic in a situation where someone tells you not to be selfish and do what you want, and instead be unselfish and do what they want? Who is the selfish one there, I ask.
When you make it clear you no longer allow this kind of behaviour, they will protest. They will try to bring you down again to their own level. There may even be anger expressed. They may try to force you to react. You know they will. So think ahead how they will probably react and decide in advance how to behave / what to say (or not to say - sometimes falling back to the abusive dialogue serves no purpose).
If you feel you cannot handle this alone, do go and talk to a qualified psychologist. They are professionals in helping you find your self respect again, to see the situation from outside. To heal. To learn to say no. Heck it is so important to learn that little word. NO! No more!
Do not sacrifice your joy to the selfishness of others.
And you are not the first person I know whose family member told them to kill themselves. I have seen the effects this statement has to a young mind - deep depression that won't go away until help is sought.
If a person's core security and trust in life has been injured, it is hard to heal, to believe they are worthy of respect and love. But we are. We all are. Never believe otherwise.
picture of the day
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today's happiness
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Daily quote
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Be proud of who you are |
writing news: going through characters
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Now as I have written the first draft of Space Witches book 3, I have done the first read-through to catch errors. And now I am going through the story as many times as there are characters in the book. Well, I don't need to read everything from cover to cover several times, as I use Scrivener. I just put a character as a search term and then scroll through the finds. If I did not do this, the characters would just do things and have discussions in the style of he said / she said. I have an idea who these people (and ghosts and other odd creatures) are, and going through each character's reactions, actions and words one by one allows me to add those tiny details that make them more alive. After I have gone through them, I will read the whole text through once more and check the timeline. And after that: off it goes to my editor. Who no doubt will be busy with the proverbial red pencil... And so I rewrite and rewrite and rewrite... I seriously wonder how some authors can spew out a book a month... Do they use ghost writers? Do they never sleep? And soon I'll be having my summer holiday and can concentrate of Nephilim Quest book 4 / The Book of the Dead.. |
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I sell my books directly too - the ebooks are cheap to buy and the big e-stores don't share much to the author. So I have downloaded my ebooks to Payhip - they don't take commission and I get more to pay for my editor, proofreader and cover designer. All of whom are one-woman businesses themselves. (You get the ebook in your preferred e-reader format.) |
If you prefer to write a short happy note each day, I have created planners for this effect. You can write your daily happiness in the squares of the weekly spread - and plan future happiness using the monthly pages. There are even happy (repositionable) stickers included in the planner.
You are welcome to read these posts here on my website. If, however, you'd like to receive them into your email daily, click the link below.
Here's the link to the subscription page of this Daily Happiness Journal post
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 Upon subscribing you will get the Prequel to Nephilim Quest: Angel. Over two hundred years before Nephilim Quest 1 / Shadowhunter the roots of the story are planted. A little girl missing her mother, in the palace of the mightiest of the dark Nephilim, hoping for an escape ... This book is not for sale anywhere - only readers who have subscribed to my mailing list will get it. | |||||
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